John Lemon
by Ember411
Summary: To Everyone, He's John Lennon. To Brittany, it's John Lemon. One-Shot.


**Hey guys. So I recently learned that the first two episodes of season 5 will be songs from The Beatles. Now before I learned about this, I wrote down a funny story type conversation that I think would happen in Glee to Brittany. (Thought of it during 'Dynamic Duets haha')**

**However in reality it's different. Brittany is off at M.I.T and our dear friend, Finn, Took The Midnight Train Going Anywhere.**

**However I decided to keep Finn and obviously Brittany because it was written before all this madness and such.**

**p.s Glee Graduates (Kurt and Puck!) Included**

**WARNINGS: Ryley, Jitty, Klaine, Bram. And to anyone who likes Mel Gibson... sorry for what Puck says, just making a joke like they do on cartoons :(**

* * *

The Glee kids were sitting in the classroom. After winning Regional, Marley convincing Ryder to come back to Glee, Marley and Jake deciding to be friends (Jake saying so because Kitty and him had been catching up on things) and other insane events like the Chess Club breaking out into a High School Musical phrase and harassing the Glee kids into singing HSM songs... calmness had occurred.

Mr. Schue came into the class room with his coffee as usual, Finn and Kurt behind him.

"Oh my god it's Squint Face Iron Giant and Lady Porcelain." Kitty remarked.

"Lady Porcelain?You will not be Sue Sylvester, no matter how many bad comments there are." Kurt commented as he took his seat to his boyfriend Blaine.

"History question: Who started the British Invasion?" Will asked.

"The Americans!" Brittany shouted in spirit. "I watched that Heath Ledger and Mel Gibson movie last night. Or, wait...is the answer Mel Gibson?"

"Fuck Mel Gibson!" Puck yelled. "He hates Little Bro and I's religious background."

"Didn't he apologize for that, Puck?" Artie asked.

"Mel Gibson doesn't mean what he says." Puck commented.

"I love Heather Ledger!" Marley cheered. "He's an amazing actor."

"He's dead Marley." Sam told her.

"I dont' care, when I become an angel one day I'm going to marry Heath."

"Jake, wanna be wedding crashers?" Ryder asked jokingly.

"Damn, we'd have to die before Marley. But I'm in!" Jake laughed, before getting nudged by Kitty.

* * *

"Close Britt," Will said, getting everyone back on track, as he went to the board and wrote down THE BEATLES.

"The Beatles!? I LOVE THE BEATLES!" Artie cheered louder than anyone else. "They're amazing!"

"I don't care if they did drugs or no, they're FABULOUS!" Unique said. "Unique loves her British men."

Everyone, but Brittany, was happy. Will notice Brittany's sadness in a second. "What's wrong Britt?"

"Mr. Schue I can not and will not perform any song from The Beatles." She said.

"Why not Britt?" Finn asked looking at her.

"One of them is dead—"

"Two of them Bimbo Barbie." Kitty said.

"No, one of them is dead. The other died in an odd natural way of common death." Brittany said, sounding kind of smart for once. "He was my Dad's favorite Beatle of all time and Dad was miserably depressed and cried when the Beatle died. Mr. Schue I can not perform a song by any of The Beatles, because of the death of The Beatle." Brittany took a breathe and said. "John Lemon."

Everyone looked at her for a second.

"Who, Britt?" Sam asked.

"John Lemon." Brittany said. "He was the happiest Beatle of them all and he had his own world, he called it the world of Imagine. John Lemon was like the King of Hippies. And although he possibly did drugs for all we know, he was fun and well respected. So to sing a song by any Beatle or a song individual by John Lemon, or any of the other Beatles— Paul McCarthy, George Hairy-Son and Roger Star."

"John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr," Artie corrected her.

"No, Artie. It' Lemon as in the veggie. McCarthy as in the Joseph hating Russian guy and Melissa McCarty from Gilmore Girls. Hairy-Son as in a son that's very hairy and Roger." Brittany said.

"Alright, so you won't sing a song because... John Lennon is dead?" Will asked.

"Yes. Just like in my English class, I refuse to sing."

"English?" Ryder asked.

"Yes." Brittany said. "Anyone and everyone knows this fact of John Lemon's death. John Lemon was shot by a book called The Catcher In the Rye."

* * *

_FLASHBACK (Brittany's English class. Brittany is staring at a copy of **The Catcher In The Rye**).)_

_"I refuse to read you, Catcher in the Rye. You shot John Lemon. You murdered one of the greatest Hippies of all time, other than Mr. Schue."_

* * *

"The Catcher in the Rye murdered one of the greatest Hippies of all time. Sorry Mr. Schue, but John Lemon was a better Hippie than you."

"Brittany, I wasn't a hippie."

"Not was Coach Sylvester said." Brittany said. "I'm sorry Mr. Schue But I can not read a book that killed John Lemon and I can not sing any songs that remind me of him because he was shot by the book."

"Wait so... because John 'Lemon' was 'shot by a book' you won't sing songs that John 'Lemon' sang before this 'book shot him.'" Jake said, adding the "bunny ears" thing with his hands (A/N: you know what I mean haha we've all done it!)

"Yes." Brittany said. "Now I must go and pray to John Lemon and pray that he will forgive you all for singing songs associated with him. Jim," She turned to Joe. "You should probably pray for them too. They're going to need it."

Brittany began to leave the classroom when Sam jumped from his chair to stop her. "Britt, I love you, but you can't leave us. Britt...uh...John Lemon would totally be okay with you singing his songs."

"John Lemon was shot by a book."

"Britt, it's okay. He...uh...knew he was going to die." Sam lied. "He knew he was going to die so that, uh, he, uh—"

"He made all these wonderful songs so that we can sing them." Blaine said. "It's for his honor."

Brittany turned to Joe and said. "Jim I've been watching these shows lately, and all high religious people can speak to the dead. Can you contaminate with John Lemon and ask him if he's okay with me singing a song?" Nobody bothered to corrected that one word he used.

"Uh...yeah...he...uh..." Joe said, but turned to Artie and said. "I can't lie."

"OH my god, Bimbo...I'm religious... The Hippie said it's fine." Kitty claimed.

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Well..." Brittany though. "Okay."

"Great." Will said, still confused as to what just happened, but let it be (no pun intended!) "Let's get started!"

* * *

**And that, my friends, is the funny conversation I thought of with The Beatles and Brittany.**


End file.
